It has taken me a while to think through the process that was our performance. First it was terrifying. I decided not to practice the piece a lot. I did not want to feel like I was locked into a certain way of performing the piece. It felt like it should be flexible from performance to performance. We were not able to do more performances this semester but I hope that we will be able to continue to explore the possibilities of the piece in the future. The performance itself was exciting but also very scary to open up myself to the possibility of critique on what I created. There were no notes to hide behind, no one else's ideas to blame if someone didn’t like it. It was scary but great. It is a feeling in performance that is always there but this is just an extreme situation.
I really enjoyed watching all of the other performances. It was interesting to see how an artist handled the challenge of drawing a piece from a graphic score. But more than that is was interesting to watch the discomfort of the performer during the performance. It was clear, in a way that is not with musicians, that they were feeling weird having people watch them drawing. They don't usually have people watching them draw, but I am not used to having people watch and listen to me when I play. Usually I am in a practice room all by myself. Though I aspire to have people listen to me play it is not what happens every day. I thought that it was very telling to see someone who is not a stage performer be on the stage and experience the discomfort.
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